給心痛的妳們

其實我們都有那種突然的心痛
突然之間的失去安全感
然後發現自己一直以來的堅持在別人眼裡看來像是一場鬧劇

很多事情本來就是徒勞無功的。
有些事情真的勉強不來
我們都知道
只是要瞭解而且接受真的很困難

沒有人可以阻止妳對別人的好
這世界上沒有那麼清楚的對錯
一件事情背後的故事有很多人
每個人的想法跟看法不會一樣
我們何必這麼在乎別人的看法?
所以女孩如果妳覺得值得的話
就去做
不要後悔
心累心痛想放棄
就放棄
說得直白一點
妳那麼努力
感動的只有妳自己。

不需要遺忘
那是一段美好的青春回憶
她或許最後還是沒有接受妳
可是妳知道妳自己因為她變了
妳跟她的時光往往是閃耀著的
那段回憶不得磨滅
不用刻意遺忘
現在妳或許覺得自己不會再那麼喜歡一個人
現在就像是把自己掏空
自己的一部分被硬生生地挖開
這會持續很久很久一段時間
不見面也還是一樣
她存在妳腦海的臉依舊鮮明
妳甚至會幻聽
這像是在戒毒癮
再堅持下去對自己的心靈不健康
所以得戒
Let's just give the time some time.
妳會放下的
她會好好的
妳們會往前走的。

Orientation Performance

The performances for club activities finally ended!!
I think we did just okay hahaha
somehow there was some problem with the speaker so they had to use RG's (another club which hosts most of the activities in our school) speaker
the speaker problem occurred during the tap dance club's performance, which was 2~3 clubs before ballroom dance.. Fortunately the performances ended well. THE WHOLE THING LASTED UNTIL ALMOST 2300 hours!!
I think I had a great breakthrough hahhha my costume was bareback ❤
Anyway I kind of hope there would be many juniors joining ballroom dance club but also not HAHAHA cz I'd be the one guiding them @@ they'd have their first performance by the end of November but we'd be busy doing our volunteering group stuff x.x

I'm not sure if I expected to see him show up, since he's already in his fifth year, but he's always been active and helpful in these things. I couldn't help grinning when I saw him on stage helping with the speaker.I don't know my thoughts even.

What should I do?

I feel so bad for forgetting a meeting I was supposed to attend to.
I guess this not only left a bad impression on our group but also on my credit.
I really care a lot on my impression to people.
It's annoying.
I don't want to care so much :(
I feel that it's me giving myself a lot of stress.
I dislike this me.
How to stay cheerful and all that?
I don't even want to bother the others about this. I know that this is my own problem. Will I ever change my thoughts? It's all up to me, right? I've been caring for so long that it's became a habit, and a habit is hard to change.

New School Year

My sem starts earlier than the others by.. I guess almost a month if you include those military training thingy. The first week of formal classes just passed and yesterday was holiday due to the Armed Forces Day, which is today. Lol. How ironic, I don't get a holiday on 31/08 for Hari Kemerdekaan but I get a holiday on 02/09 as a military school student, in Taiwan.

People often say to look for bf in Taiwan and marry a Taiwanese. Lol you think very easy ahh? hahaa. Anyway, that's not the main point. I actually fell into deep thought a few days ago when someone talked to me about this again, and I thought, "but I miss home." If that was really the case, I would have to leave my hometown and spend my time in a foreign land, without my family. When I just came here, I told people that I still don't know to stay or to leave Taiwan after graduating. But I guess I can't really leave my family, huh? I don't know. Perhaps things would change again after graduating. It seems like Taiwan graduates need to be R for two years in MY hospitals after passing the MY Med test, in order to be recognized, or something like that.. 

Okay. So anyway, the question above reminded me of my air tickets :D and as quick as a flash, (of course with the help of mum and xiaojiu), hahaha, tickets for CNY and summer hols are both settled :D I'm already looking forward to CNY though I don't have new clothes yet :((

Ohh and I might be taking the challenge to be the leader of our volunteering group for 16/17, idk yet lol. Don't really feel like making myself too busy but it seems like there aren't many who are suitable, and those who are are either already too busy or unavailable due to some family problems. Grr. I don't like leading, I kind of know that after being a TL for a year (and I did nothing too! haha I feel sorry for Jon)

Currently I have a part-time job, the wage per hour isn't low, mostly keying in things so I guess it's quite easy since it's just typing. But it's just until this year end. So it's only 3 months. I do hope that they still lack manpower so I can earn some $$$ for myself. Oh and I paid my fees with my hard-earned money from the military training. Hahaha. It's just a sem but I was very happy :) I guess this is the advantage of studying in a military school? 

Lessons starting this sem are important, they would come out in the National Test for Medicine in Taiwan during summer when I go from 4th grade to 5th grade. Gotta take this thing seriously. Can't afford to fail. Heard that it's hard to have time to study when we start our practice in the hospital, and our course has been adjusted so instead of being a 7-year course, it's now a 6-year course. x_x