Mask or not

Idk if this is my mask coming off or just me changing due to the events around me
I've been short-tempered ever since my second year
Things with volunteering group
then ballroom dancing
then now I lose my temper easily on basically anything
seriously.
ANYTHING.
I don't like the feeling I'm giving off to people but somehow it makes me feel better, at least I have a way to relieve my stress.
I find it really hard to tell people about my worries and problems I'm facing, cz I don't like to be asking for help from them, and I prefer doing things on my own, faster and saving all the mess.
I wish people were more considerate and could think a few steps ahead so we won't be always chasing the deadline, praying to make it or whatsoever. Jeez.

So now with the finals over, the results are also out.
I scored only 82 on an open book test. Ridiculous right?
I thought I did well. It really is weird.
Idk.
Seems like things don't go well as you think, and ironically things that you thought as bad would turn out smooth. It's like WHAT?! Ughh.
However, not too good too. Not the top. Many of them score more than me in immunology, though mine is already quite high. I don't know if it's good to be so competitive, it's making me feel tired, mentally. I hate competing just to find myself incapable and end up as a loser. I guess everyone is the same haha.

And I secretly hope someone who cares enough about me would browse through my blog quietly, not say a thing and hold me in their arms, gently stroke my hair and tell me it's okay to be feeling like this.

I think I really changed a lot since middle school. I think he changed, too.
I wonder how are you now.
有沒有想念過我?